No matter how they go about it, people want to belong... somewhere. Inevitably, humans are attracted to other individuals with like-minded ideas and goals. People want to feel accepted, they want to be liked. In fact, when it comes down to it, people will gravitate toward whatever makes them stronger. And, in most cases, that is a community. As long as people do not get lost in them, communities can indeed prove to be extremely beneficial by providing a sense of belonging, stability, and confidence.
The desire to belong, for most people, is overwhelming. From groups to clubs to cliques to secret societies, people will look for acceptance any way that they can get it. Occasionally, they will even go so far as forfeiting their own morals or subjecting themselves to extreme hazing rituals just to be included. The need to be around others with similar interests can sometimes cause people to make frenzied leaps into the first community that they come across - even if it is one that supports not so healthy behavior. In her essay "A Secret Society of the Starving", Mim Udovitch is introduced to the world of pro-anas, people (mostly of the female gender and of high school and college age) who believe that anorexia nervosa is a lifestyle choice and not - as is widely believed - an illness. While researching this particularly bizarre community, Udovitch interviews a girl named Claire who, when talking about her pro-ana friends, claims, "I can go online and talk to them there, and they know exactly what I'm going through and how I feel. And I don't have to worry about them judging me... (149)." Belonging to a group can fulfill a need for security, and Claire gets exactly that from her fellow pro-anas. Even though most of these people are aware of how unhealthy an actual eating disorder can be, they are, either through ignorance or denial, bonded through their established circle - a circle that continues to not only justify their behavior, but strengthen it. Cases such as this demonstrate how supportive a community can be. And just how dangerous.
The likelihood that people can lose themselves in their chosen communities is great. By so identifying with the particular groups they belong to, people begin to acquire a sense of "us" versus "them". As David Berreby states in his essay "It Takes a Tribe", "Human beings will give a lot, including their lives, for a group they feel a part of - for 'us,' as in 'our nation' or 'our religion.' They will also harm those labeled 'them,' including taking their lives (120)." This extreme sense of allegiance, albeit less dramatic, utterly displays itself in high schools and colleges, where students are zealously pitted against each other in passionate rivalries. Whether it involves inter-school competition or outside adversaries, students and faculty alike are often susceptible to the "us" and "them" syndrome. Sara Dam, a twenty-one year old undergraduate student at the University of Iowa and resident advisor (RA) at Burge Hall, likens this behavior to a "...desperate need to belong. Most people need to be a part of something, and college exclusivity is an easy way to accomplish that." Dam sees that need quite often in her classmates and residents. "The football games out here are intense. Most of the students don't even like football, or sports for that matter, but they can't wait to go to each and every game and cheer on the Hawks." A sports lover herself, she chuckles good-naturedly before continuing. "Half of the crowd doesn't even know what's going on. They just cheer when their friends do. But it's all in good fun." And, as Dam points out, one of the main attractions of associating with a college (in her case, the University of Iowa) is that, "once a Hawkeye, always a Hawkeye." Or, in other words, once a part of a college community, always a part of a college community.
The desire to belong, for most people, is overwhelming. From groups to clubs to cliques to secret societies, people will look for acceptance any way that they can get it. Occasionally, they will even go so far as forfeiting their own morals or subjecting themselves to extreme hazing rituals just to be included. The need to be around others with similar interests can sometimes cause people to make frenzied leaps into the first community that they come across - even if it is one that supports not so healthy behavior. In her essay "A Secret Society of the Starving", Mim Udovitch is introduced to the world of pro-anas, people (mostly of the female gender and of high school and college age) who believe that anorexia nervosa is a lifestyle choice and not - as is widely believed - an illness. While researching this particularly bizarre community, Udovitch interviews a girl named Claire who, when talking about her pro-ana friends, claims, "I can go online and talk to them there, and they know exactly what I'm going through and how I feel. And I don't have to worry about them judging me... (149)." Belonging to a group can fulfill a need for security, and Claire gets exactly that from her fellow pro-anas. Even though most of these people are aware of how unhealthy an actual eating disorder can be, they are, either through ignorance or denial, bonded through their established circle - a circle that continues to not only justify their behavior, but strengthen it. Cases such as this demonstrate how supportive a community can be. And just how dangerous.
The likelihood that people can lose themselves in their chosen communities is great. By so identifying with the particular groups they belong to, people begin to acquire a sense of "us" versus "them". As David Berreby states in his essay "It Takes a Tribe", "Human beings will give a lot, including their lives, for a group they feel a part of - for 'us,' as in 'our nation' or 'our religion.' They will also harm those labeled 'them,' including taking their lives (120)." This extreme sense of allegiance, albeit less dramatic, utterly displays itself in high schools and colleges, where students are zealously pitted against each other in passionate rivalries. Whether it involves inter-school competition or outside adversaries, students and faculty alike are often susceptible to the "us" and "them" syndrome. Sara Dam, a twenty-one year old undergraduate student at the University of Iowa and resident advisor (RA) at Burge Hall, likens this behavior to a "...desperate need to belong. Most people need to be a part of something, and college exclusivity is an easy way to accomplish that." Dam sees that need quite often in her classmates and residents. "The football games out here are intense. Most of the students don't even like football, or sports for that matter, but they can't wait to go to each and every game and cheer on the Hawks." A sports lover herself, she chuckles good-naturedly before continuing. "Half of the crowd doesn't even know what's going on. They just cheer when their friends do. But it's all in good fun." And, as Dam points out, one of the main attractions of associating with a college (in her case, the University of Iowa) is that, "once a Hawkeye, always a Hawkeye." Or, in other words, once a part of a college community, always a part of a college community.
Linking up with a community allows people to relax into a certain sense of stability. In knowing that others are constantly there for them - to watch out for them, to help them if need be - is a huge relief factor and is one of the reasons that most seek out the comfort of communities in the first place. Likewise, in watching out for others of the group and contributing to its greater good, each member is gifted with a feeling of value and self-worth - something that is remarkably hard to come by when drifting through life solo and unattached. This principle comes across expressly during college years, when students are more easily pieced into groups. Dam claims that she loves being an RA for her Hall because, "My residents become my friends, and I get to see them grow so much during the school year. Plus," she adds, "I love being there for them. It was actually because of this reason that I decided to apply for the position of Resident Counselor at my graduate school next year. Helping someone solve a problem they otherwise couldn't have is a great feeling." Dam's main goal as an RA is to make sure the people on her floor feel stable. "College students have enough stress in their lives," she points out. "But being able to return to the dorms and knowing that everything there, at least, is okay, is priceless."
A feeling of value and self-worth frequently inspires in people a supreme confidence. As long as they have their chosen communities behind them, people often feel like they can accomplish anything - whether it is struggling through a particularly difficult class or graduating with honors. As John Stewart encourages college graduates during his commencement speech at the College of William and Mary, "Love what you do. Get good at it (128)." And it is inarguable that doing "what you love" does take confidence - the sort of confidence that a community of well-wishers can provide. Stewart, however, also advises students to play to their own "internal sense of decency (128)" and cautions them to not lose themselves too much in the opinions of others (i.e. communities). It is widely known that college is a time to join together with others, commune. And as long as people are still able to flesh out their own identities while cradling themselves within their selected communities, they will be able to achieve the best of both worlds.
Communities, just like people, come and go. But it is what individuals do with their time while a part of those groups that decides what overall benefits are eventually attained. The actual functions of a community are wide, and the promise of belonging, stability, and confidence can be enticing. If handled correctly, those functions can provide people the sturdy ground and strong footholds that are necessary in their climb to ultimate success. When it comes down to it, people can survive on their own. But they need others to thrive.
Works Cited
Udovitch, Mim. "A Secret Society of the Starving." Remix. Catherine G. Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010. 149-156.
Berreby, David. "It Takes a Tribe." Remix. Catherine G. Latterell. 2nd ed.
Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010. 119-123.
Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010. 119-123.
Stewart, Jon. "Commencement Address." Remix. Catherine G. Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010. 125-128.
Dam, Sara. Telephone Interview. 31 January 2011.
This is a great essay, I really enjoyed reading it. Your interview choice was excellent! She had some great input!
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